can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
