Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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