i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
is it fun? or sober?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
