so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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