If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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