Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
