U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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