Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
