so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
