Its about making memories worth repressing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
