wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
