i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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