is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
