wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
