So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
