I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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