discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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