just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
