butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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