No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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