i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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