who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
