woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
