i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
jump out the window naked night went bad
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
