I need to stop coming to work sober
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
