College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
