i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
