your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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