Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
