I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
