Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
