I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
