My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
