don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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