It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I bet he comes in French.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
