highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
