I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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