i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
