Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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