I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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