You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We have started to decorate penises.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
