My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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