My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
