I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
then he tried to convert me to islam
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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