in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
