He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
