Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
