I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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