i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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