the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
