My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
