wrigley field is MILF paradise
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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